Sooo…. since I last posted some stuff happened. Duh, you say. Well it was a little interesting, kind of, at least I think so. Maybe a little. I just want to share, ok?
Firstly, thank you modern technology! The fact that we have managed to make such cool things as phones, let alone smart phones is great. What I’m really thankful for now though is our phone’s improved ability to survive in a very wet climate, specifically in a body of water that may or may not contain human excrement. Who am I kidding? It definitely contained human excrement. I dropped my phone in the toilet….at work….in the middle of the day….after someone had just pooped and I had just peed…and flushed (thank the Gods). How do I know someone had just pooped you ask? Well, we have one small communal bathroom in my office, it’s not hard to figure it out. There are signs, ya know? No matter the amount of Hawaiian Breeze air freshener you spray into the atmosphere it’ll still smell like Hawaiian shit. Anyway, I took my phone to the bathroom (as one does) and it found its way into the toilet bowl. I have never stuck my hand in a toilet so fast and without thought. I saw air bubbles coming out! Honestly, when my phone came out unscathed all I could do was laugh at myself. Actually, it was pretty surprising that I took it so well. Normally something like this would have ruined my whole day and I would have spent the rest of my afternoon worrying that someone, somehow, figured out that I had a toilet phone. But no, I just laughed silently at myself. I wiped my whole phone down with a Clorox wipe, of course. I still can’t get over how fast my hand just splashed down into that toilet bowl. Maybe I should get some sort of toilet phone case now, just to honor that moment in my life. You may be asking, do you still take your phone to the bathroom with you? Yes, yes I do. In some things I am a very slow learner.
Also, guys….. I have an adult play-date… I have a date to go to a water aerobics exercise class with my boss. I. Am. Freaking. Out. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m a bit of an anxious person. Well, more than a bit. A year or so ago I scared the crap out of a doctor because they were sure I was going to kill myself as soon as I left the office. Anyway, I’m making strides. I have an adult play-date for Christ’s sake! The only problem is, I don’t have a complete swimsuit. My husband and I moved domiciles, cross country actually, earlier this year and I still haven’t managed to unpack everything. I also don’t know if I even brought my bathing suit tops with me because I hated them all. All two of them. It’s a lot of hate, I know. Also, even if I found my tops they are not exactly exercise-class-with-my-boss appropriate, ya know what I mean? My workplace is also super Christian, so conservative. I feel like I’m navigating a mine field. Bathing suits aren’t exactly conservative, like ever. Also, this exercise thing? I don’t really do it. I occasionally decide that I need to start working out to help me feel better about myself and I’ll do some beginner yoga once or twice and that’s it. I want a better body but I really hate sweating. How do people do these sorts of things? Like how do they just go do something with someone they work with outside of work? I only see my husband and family outside of work really, and sometimes I make my husband leave me alone because I just can’t handle social interaction at the moment. So lots of anxiety about that, but also excitement. My boss asked me to go with her so that means she must like me right? That’s good right?
I went to my first concert too. This happened before I posted last, but I want to tell you about it anyway. I know, it’s a little late for it to be my first concert. I just never wanted to spend the money on it. I didn’t see the point. The concert I went to was all old rock bands. My boss didn’t want to use his box seat so he offered it to me. I took my dad and my husband, it was awesome! Whitesnake was one of the openers, but they might as well have been the featured band with how much my dad yelled and pumped his fist. I don’t think he had a voice the next day. I knew quite a few of their songs as well, thank you Dad for a wonderful music education in my formative years. I didn’t love the amount of people, but I loved the experience.Being in a box seat didn’t hurt either. I see now why people spend so much on concert tickets. It’s different to see an artist live. No recording could ever capture the feeling you get in a crowd of people all enjoying live music. I think there’s a word for it, or some sort of documented psychological phenomenon. I also think I enjoyed it a little more because the crowd was mostly of the older generations, so things didn’t get too rowdy. Wouldn’t want to break something. I fit right in. My husband always jokes with me that I’m a 90 year old woman trapped in a 26 year old’s body. I mean, he has a point. I do wash and reuse the Tupperware that the cheap lunch meat comes in from store. I also call it Tupperware.
So yeah, I’m just over here being the adultiest adult to ever adult. All the experiences! Poop phone! Adult play-date! First concert! Tupperware! Contain your jealousy, it doesn’t look good on you.
Just kidding! Be jealous! It makes me feel better about myself. Until next time….